SKY BLUE REVERIES

It's midnight and I'm running high on adrenaline which makes it hard for me to fall asleep.  Anyway, the past few days I've been indulging myself in videos, tweets, photos, news, and just basically anything related to a show called Shadow and Bone. Now I can't seem to get my head out of fangirling mode, that's how addicting this show is. I don't know what it is about fantasy/sci-fi/dystopian series or movies but when it is executed right, it will always get me hyped up. 

However, this post is not gonna be about me fangirling Shadow and Bone (maybe I'll write something about it another day). Besides, I've done that too much already and I think my friends are getting tired of me for tweeting and posting stories too much of Alina and the Darkling. So we're not gonna go there. 

But we are gonna discuss this particular photo and the caption that's in it.  

While watching Shadow and Bone, you can't deny that there is this raw borderline sexual energy between the character of Alina and the Darkling. Before we go any further though, I must say that it is a problematic and toxic relationship. All of the lies and manipulation that he did to Alina are wrong and you should steer clear from that in any type of relationship in real life. It's not healthy. So yeah, try to keep that in mind. 

Moving on, as much as I love Mal and I know how sincere his love is for Alina (especially since they grew up together and treat each other as equals), a part of me still wishes that Alina and the Darkling will be the final deal. And that photo perfectly describes my emotions. 

Is it possible for a female lead character in ANY SERIES OR MOVIE, like Alina, to just fall in love with the villain (in this case the Darkling) and choose to stand by his side instead of going back to her first love and fight against him? 

LIKE HAS THIS BEEN DONE? HAS IT? I DON'T THINK SO.
(Oh yeah another disclaimer, I'm not saying that I condone abusive and violent behaviors like the Darkling. I'm not. The context here is a villain CHARACTER in a FICTIONAL setting.)

I'm just saying, wouldn't it be fun and refreshing just for once to have a couple where they are both downright evil and do typical villainy stuff together. Especially when you have a villain that can be intriguing and disturbing at the same time. This can provide us as the audience such a fun pov. We then get to see two villains trying to defeat the good guy and whether they succeed or fail that's another thing to think about. 

So if any one of you reading this knows a fantasy/sci-fi/ dystopian movie or series where the two lead characters started out as enemies and then the main female character decided to be a villain and throw away all of her good moral compass followed by wanting to conquer the world together with her villain partner, please let me know.  I personally haven't watch anything with that kind of plot. Perhaps they exist in books, but I don't think they can be found in movies or tv series. Also, we're not talking about other genres. I'd like to emphasize the fantasy/sci-fi/dystopian setting. The story must take place in either of these three settings. 

That's all for now. I hope you enjoy my rant about whatever this is. Now I think I can fall asleep. 

 

Hello to whoever reading this. Brace yourself because this is going to be a long one.



2019 is almost coming to an end! What a year it has been. Honestly, this year is a special one for me. It has been a year of growth. The first seven months were full of ups and downs. I say that because I was working on my undergraduate thesis haha. It was wearing me out physically and mentally. It was full-on lab work, non-stop trials and errors, and a boatload of going back and forth to Glodok, Kenari, and Bogor to buy all the tools. It was truly something. But let me tell you, achieving a pretty good result and final product that I'm proud of feels so damn good. Not gonna lie. It feels really good. Those seven months are unforgettable and I'm so lucky to have my fellow research teammates who are so supportive. They were my go-to people to make me laugh during all the stressful times because we're in the same boat and they are the ones who truly get it. We went through a lot together and amazingly we made it! Basically what I've learned from this is that I'm stronger than I thought. I'm grateful for the experience. Everything that has happened made me the person I am today. I won't change it for anything. Also, the trip to Penang and Bali with them was really fun.

After all of the hard work in the lab, writing the thesis and papers, it was finally graduattioooonn time~ the day that I've been waiting forever since my third semester haha. The rehearsal day and the actual graduation day were hectic. For the most part, it was me trying to take as many photos as I can of myself and with my friends and family. I didn't have a moment to really take it in, you know to tell myself like "wow I just graduated" or "I finish engineering school" or "this is probably the last time I'm going to see the majority of my college friends ever again". Now I kinda wish I realized that last part sooner. Let's go back for a while.





The first day of college was all about excitement and enthusiasm for the future. It was a brand new environment for everyone. It was a clean slate, you can create a whole new identity and be a new person than you were in high school. Then as you continue, you realized that it's not all fun and games. There were many instances where I thought "why the heck did I choose this major", "what was I thinking" and "I wish I was in a different major instead". But then I looked at my friends and I saw that they all struggled too. So....I don't know, I guess I find it comforting to know that I'm not the only one. The beautiful thing is that we all helped and supported each other. Like honestly if my friends weren't that, I'd definitely consider changing my major. Fortunately, they all are good fun kind people that I have the pleasure to be friends with. I just can't imagine going through four years without any support system because chemical engineering is tough man haha.





I can easily say that all the positive memories that I've made during my college years outweigh the bad ones. Why? Because of my friends. Was it stressful? Definitely. Was it fun? Heck yeah. I genuinely wish the best of luck to my friends for the new journey they're embarking on. We're not college students anymore. That means no more classes, no more midterms or finals, no more studying last minute together. All of that is in the past. The road feels more abstract now compare to college, where before we always know what our schedule is and what to expect from the semester. Now it's full of question marks. It's a new chapter and it's daunting yet thrilling.



Last but not least, I feel immensely grateful for my family. I especially appreciate them more now than ever. Probably because during my not-so-good moments, that I realized how big of support they are to me. Their presence is something that I often took for granted. Thus by the time I felt lost and out of touch with myself, I finally understand that I should never take them for granted in the first place. I'm pretty vocal about my affections to my family in real life. Therefore I don't think I need to write in full details about it. Anyway, I know I can be a handful at times. So to my family who might be reading this, thank you for putting up with me and for always knocking some senses into me.




Before I made this post, I had no idea where to begin and where to stop. The last time I post was in February 2018. You can imagine that my brain is bursting with ideas and stories I wanted to tell about everything that has happened in between. As a closing statement, I'll be honest with you I kinda feel scared for the future. But scared in a good way. I think it's embedded in our DNA to wanting to grow. We're constantly searching for a new adventure and challenge to take on. I'm ready for my new chapter. I don't know how it will be and where it may take me. All I know is, I'm ready.