Hello to whoever reading this. Brace yourself because this is going to be a long one.
2019 is almost coming to an end! What a year it has been. Honestly, this year is a special one for me. It has been a year of growth. The first seven months were full of ups and downs. I say that because I was working on my undergraduate thesis haha. It was wearing me out physically and mentally. It was full-on lab work, non-stop trials and errors, and a boatload of going back and forth to Glodok, Kenari, and Bogor to buy all the tools. It was truly something. But let me tell you, achieving a pretty good result and final product that I'm proud of feels so damn good. Not gonna lie. It feels really good. Those seven months are unforgettable and I'm so lucky to have my fellow research teammates who are so supportive. They were my go-to people to make me laugh during all the stressful times because we're in the same boat and they are the ones who truly get it. We went through a lot together and amazingly we made it! Basically what I've learned from this is that I'm stronger than I thought. I'm grateful for the experience. Everything that has happened made me the person I am today. I won't change it for anything. Also, the trip to Penang and Bali with them was really fun.
The first day of college was all about excitement and enthusiasm for the future. It was a brand new environment for everyone. It was a clean slate, you can create a whole new identity and be a new person than you were in high school. Then as you continue, you realized that it's not all fun and games. There were many instances where I thought "why the heck did I choose this major", "what was I thinking" and "I wish I was in a different major instead". But then I looked at my friends and I saw that they all struggled too. So....I don't know, I guess I find it comforting to know that I'm not the only one. The beautiful thing is that we all helped and supported each other. Like honestly if my friends weren't that, I'd definitely consider changing my major. Fortunately, they all are good fun kind people that I have the pleasure to be friends with. I just can't imagine going through four years without any support system because chemical engineering is tough man haha.
I can easily say that all the positive memories that I've made during my college years outweigh the bad ones. Why? Because of my friends. Was it stressful? Definitely. Was it fun? Heck yeah. I genuinely wish the best of luck to my friends for the new journey they're embarking on. We're not college students anymore. That means no more classes, no more midterms or finals, no more studying last minute together. All of that is in the past. The road feels more abstract now compare to college, where before we always know what our schedule is and what to expect from the semester. Now it's full of question marks. It's a new chapter and it's daunting yet thrilling.
Last but not least, I feel immensely grateful for my family. I especially appreciate them more now than ever. Probably because during my not-so-good moments, that I realized how big of support they are to me. Their presence is something that I often took for granted. Thus by the time I felt lost and out of touch with myself, I finally understand that I should never take them for granted in the first place. I'm pretty vocal about my affections to my family in real life. Therefore I don't think I need to write in full details about it. Anyway, I know I can be a handful at times. So to my family who might be reading this, thank you for putting up with me and for always knocking some senses into me.
Before I made this post, I had no idea where to begin and where to stop. The last time I post was in February 2018. You can imagine that my brain is bursting with ideas and stories I wanted to tell about everything that has happened in between. As a closing statement, I'll be honest with you I kinda feel scared for the future. But scared in a good way. I think it's embedded in our DNA to wanting to grow. We're constantly searching for a new adventure and challenge to take on. I'm ready for my new chapter. I don't know how it will be and where it may take me. All I know is, I'm ready.
