Dear Sesia,

This might come off as weird by the time you're reading this, but I hope in a few years you'll come back and read this post once again. Just to give some perspective.

Sit back, and I want to take you to a little trip down the memory lane.

That day was 22nd of October 2016. You were in your room, headphones on, with a glass of water by your side. It was a truly special day. You know why? You just finished your midterm test!

How did it go you might ask? Let's just say you've done your best. No matter what the outcome is you've truly done your best. You didn't bail, so that's that. Oh yeah and you lost your goddamn phone for the second time in one year. So congrats, your day has been absolutely great. Just terrific  :)

By the time this post was made, you were at a point in your life where you feel like the whole world is turning against you. You felt confused, angry, disappointed, scared. Basically, you're feeling shit. The constant self doubts that kept emerging in your head, the negatives thoughts were taking over your few remaining positive ones, and last but not least the feeling of not being enough. It was as if life is throwing you thousands of rocks and you're trying with the tiny bit of energy left in you to survive and stand tall while being all muddy and bloody.

Your mind was always wondering elsewhere. You felt miserable and you started to feel like you're out of touch with yourself. You wanted to blame the whole world but you know that's not right. The guilt of being a failure was eating you up. And you were scared of disappointing and letting people down.

With that in mind, the "22nd of October 2016" Sesia, have something important to say to the older version of myself.

I want you to be happy. That's it. By the time you're reading this, hopefully you're at the point in your life where you at peace with yourself.  That includes everything, from your relationship with your loved ones to career wise. Maybe your friends are all married and you're not, well you do you. Maybe you're not making as much money as you want to, well you better work harder but remember that money isn't everything in life. Look, obviously I don't know where you live or what you do for a living but I hope you've come to a realization that being happy and comfortable in your skin is what matters the most. Don't forget that having a happy and strong mentality is important. Because now, I clearly haven't figure it out a way to unlock this negative mentality that keeps weighing me down. So I hope you're in a much better place now than I am.

I don't want to put pressure on you to be successful, making this much money or this or that. I just want you to live life to the fullest. Remember, being happy is a choice. If you're reading this and you smiled, that means all of the struggles that I had to go through were all worth it. 

You're not a quitter, you know that, and I know that. Keep that fire burnin'

From your "22nd of October 2016" version self.